I seriously need some advice. We are going through some "growning pains" in our family and at this point I just don't know what to do. SO PLEASE.... leave me a comment on how you feel, or what you do, or your rules growing up.
So the story goes....
One of the very first days we moved in to this house I overheard the girls talking about this neighbor girl that was going to come over after school. I was like???????????? I did not know who they were talking about. They said she lived down the street. I guess they knew her from the first few days of school. She is a first grader. Several times over the next few months she came over and asked to play.
1. I didn't know her.
2. I didn't know her parents.
3. I was super prego.
4. I was not comfortable with the girls out front, and then having to keep track of Graden.
5. Her parents don't know me, or my husband, or my home. (We could be crazy). Shut it.
6. She is un-attended outside and has the run of the neighborhood. (I have seen her riding all around the block, sometimes with headphones in, totally unaware of her surroundings).
Come to find out she and her Dad our in our ward. I believe her mom is not a member. She is an only child. I feel as though I have been pressured to somewhat be-friend her by certain people at church. So I have. As the weather has gotten warmer and the kids want to be out front and riding bikes, drawing with chalk, just enjoying themselves, she has come by. I am always VERY nice to her. She has enjoyed the company of my kids, and they hers. The girls went to her birthday party in March. And I have let the girls play at her home (less than an hour tops). It has gone from once a week, to almost everyday RIGHT after school the doorbell rings. Or as soon as I drive up in our drive way, open the garage and unload everything.....RING! I feel as though we are being swooped down upon. I have told her that the kids cannot play. Sickness, Sunday, dinner time, bath time, you name it. But she just stands there and looks at me. Then I shut the door, while she is still standing there. I feel really bad, but totally annoyed at the lack of boundary she has. I truly do not know what to do next.
I have set rules for my girls. Helmets, sidewalk, no food, stay outside, etc....I had my sister Julie watch the kids for an hour or so yesterday. They were all playing outside. I told Julie the rules. She said she watched as she kept asking for the girls to go get a snack. (If she were actually hungry and I felt as though she was not eating, I would feed her). (Not the case). Julie finally said something, and then she whispered again. Julie told her to go home and eat. She came back with a cinnamon hard candy.
Did your mom ever tell you that "three's a company, but two is a crowd"? Well, when it's with twins, one of them is ALWAYS the "crowd". So when they play it's a lot of drama. I feel like a gerk, making the girls come in when I have finally heard enough. It seems like when they are all together the talk gets sassy. (mind you my girls ARE NOT ANGELS). But in know the difference.
Please help me. To tell you that I am heart broken about this is an understatement. I feel trapped in my home, unable to enjoy the front yard, without everybody else joining in.
What do you do? What are your rules? Should I talk to her parents? HELP??????
PS.....I put a note on our door that says, "sorry, no playing today" cause I just cannot handle it. And it's beautiful outside. Sigh.....