I received news of a friend this weekend. She has made what I would consider and utterly bad choice. It's shady, and dishonest, and schemey. I would not call us good friends, but I would be there if she needed me. At first I just thought it was so lame of what she did. And I was a little mad. But now I am feeling the worse out of all the feelings. DISAPPOINTMENT.
As a Mom I have not ever really felt this feeling till tonight at dinner.
We don't have problems behaviorally with any of our kids. They are all sweet and delicious. And every now and again have their sour moments.
Tonight as we were getting ready to say the prayer I asked Burke to offer it. He is still a beginner and gets rather distracted. So they are short, sweet and to the point. As I was slowly said each word for him to repeat Taylor became irritated that is was taking too long. She sighed really loud and Jason got after her. Then after we said amen, (from a 10 word prayer), Taylor blurted out "Great, now can we pray for reals?"
I don't know why it hit me so hard. But it hit Jason even harder. She was immediately sent to her room with out eating. Where she bawled at the top of her lungs. Jason went up a few minutes later. I'm not sure what he said but he came down alone.
We decided that she would eat dinner alone, after we were all done. As Jason was up talking to her I just became overwhelmed with disappointment. How does she think she learned to pray? I can remember hundreds of meals where Jason and I sat patiently and listened to the girls first prayers.
The feeling did not last long, and while she was eating alone at the bar I told her I love her. I cannot hold a grudge against my child. Just like Heavenly Father does not hold them against me. I am so very thankful for that.